mercoledì, ottobre 18, 2006

Crying over split jizz

Something’s been on my mind, maybe egged on because of a seeming rash of North American men killing former lovers or forbidden sexual targets and then themselves. I know such things have always happened, I know the media is working double time to sell newspapers. But I also feel like people are losing their connection to things that matter - friendship, family, creation, society, collaboration – and identifying themselves only by their sexuality to the degree that they’ll utterly bugger up everything without seeing how it could have been any different. Normal people too, not just murderous cocksuckers. I blame Freud and corporate marketing. As if they’re two different things.

I’m going to write a personal post now, but I think I have a point.

My old roommate, who visited Friday, is a fucking gorgeous person and I adored living with her. Then we went for years without talking after, to make a long story short, fighting over a piece of ass. I regret that, and I regretted it during those years. But it’s hard to imagine how it could have gone any different, since I was determined I was within reasonable rights to have that man and she was equally determined I was a cunt for it. How, I asked myself disingenuously, could we have failed to understand each other so horribly?

But the real question (because we DID understand each other – she knew she was being unreasonable and I knew I was being a cunt) is how we could have been so fucking proud and snatch-headed that we could rationalize not talking for years.

The inevitable answer is that our sexy-type pride overwhelmed everything else, and it could only have done that if everything else had been far too easy to overwhelm. I don’t know whether that was from stupidity, our retarded corporate zeitgeist of emotional alienation, or insecurity. Probably a mix. I hope I’m never as mixed up again as I was when my relationship with my old roommate was all buggered up over a nice piece of ass. I hope I never again identify myself by my sexy-type life so profoundly, and I’m saying that in the context of a happy sexy-type life.

Anyways, I do know one thing: the people I love and respect the most don’t hold grudges over tail, either in terms of competition or rejection, and if that means they think tail is less important than the world is telling us, maybe tail isn’t so fucking important.

I see my industry try to make it so fucking important every day, and it’s easy. Chasing tail is an important human instinct, and jealousy and rejection are almost tangible emotions. But friendship, family, creation, society, collaboration – those are all instincts too. You just can’t sell as much shit to people who pay attention to those instead of to their next or last piece of ass. It makes me so fucking angry. It’s an abuse of love, an abuse of sex, an abuse of basic human goodness to elevate the importance of sex and romantic love above everything else. It’s like eating diamond lasagna and wearing peruzzi-cut meatball earrings.

Mmmm, meatballs.

17 commenti:

Lady ha detto...

mistress? is that YOU?
here here!

Melbine ha detto...

I've quietly lived my life this exact same way that you recommend. And I think I'm much better off for it!

I find it really strange that the television industry sexualizes everything and yet, sex is also so taboo at the same time in our society. Specifically American society. What's that about??

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

Shocking, isn't it, Lady? I was certainly shocked to discover there's a whole world of joy and emotion out there THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY SNATCH.

I'm still not over the shock, to be honest. It's like living in a candy store for years, finally opening the emergency exit, and finding St. Lawrence Market.

Mel, I don't know, but off the top of my head I'd say it's because people pay more to get things they think are naughty.

Anonimo ha detto...

It is so easy to get caught up in sex and romance because when it happens with someone new that is all you can think about. All those crazy hormones zooming through your body make it difficult to see the person sitting across the table from you. All you can think about is the tasty treat you just had or are about to have.

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

Yeah . . . but people are boring, retarded and unstable at that point. It's not a desirable state to be in all or most of the time.

Melbine ha detto...

Sugarplum is right - new sex and romance is pretty damn heady!

Anonimo ha detto...

Mistress is right. There is no one dumber or more boring than someone experiencing a new fling. I feel sorry for all my students in Japan when I was going through a bit of a sex-crazed stage and couldn't focus on them.

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

Same for the Italian students. They payed good money to see me stare blankly into space and softly giggle.

Masonic Boom ha detto...

Thing is (and I'm projecting madly here) - is that you see this as "holding a grudge over a piece of tail".

Sometimes it's not the sex that forms the betrayal, but the motivations behind it.

I've very recently had a major falling out with someone I thought was a close friend over a similar thing - what ended up causing the rift was not that she made off with the Tail in question, but more that she knew that what she was doing would hurt me, badly, and she did it anyway.

If Tail is that important to you, then you get the Tail - but you lose the friendship. You make a choice, you pick what's important to you.

To me, Friendship is more important than Tail, 9 times out of 10. But I've also learned that a friendship where the Tail is more important to the other person is not really much of a friendship. If that's me "holding a grudge" then thanks, I can do without those kinds of friends.

Anyway, that's just my £.02 I just needed to get that off my chest.

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

I see what you mean, I guess. Both friends have to realize that tail isn't all that important at the same time and realize the other person has realized it at the same time. Sort of like nuclear disarmament. Trusting motives alot. Hard.

With my old roommate, I was still nailing the tail in question when we reconciled. We reconciled anyways. The way the thing had started helped her accept how it had happened in a VERY case-specific and honestly insane way.

Because she had your point of view: I knew what I was doing to her and I did it anyways. So in the end she was only able to 'take me back' when she had accepted there were much worse betrayals between friends than someone's cunt - and sexual/emotional insecurities - taking over her empathy.

Maybe she wouldn't have been able to take me back if the man in question had meant more to her, or less to me. But with girls like her and me (Sagittariuses - look, Lady, I'm playing along with your astrology horseshit), unless it's honest-to-fuck love, every man-craze that doesn't go anywhere is just a few journal entries after awhile, while every lost friendship is a tragedy.

calisaurus ha detto...

This is completely off topic - but if you still want me, Mr. S, Mr. N and Ms. B for dinner we can come on Friday. If this is too much short notice let me know. Mr. N says we can bring the wine.

I didn't get your message on Sat. until yesterday because I haven't used my cell phone since Oliver chewed through the charger wire, and I'm bad about message checking. Sorry to hear you weren't feeling good on Sat - I laid out a cheese spread and you missed it!

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

No, that's not too short. Come on over and if the boys are feeling secure in their sexuality maybe we can go to Screwwww at Buddies afterwards.

calisaurus ha detto...

I love Buddies! I was having a debate last weekend with my parents and their friends about whether or not trannies should be allowed in the girls bathroom with us ladies. What time will dinner be served? Then we can plan to arrive a bit earlier...

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

Let's say 8:30, dining at 9. It will be a nibbly affair because I have a nibbly apartment, so Mr. N may prefer to bring a white. I don't care, one way or the other.

calisaurus ha detto...

Ok. I'll let everyone know. I will also bring wine - maybe it will be nice to have one white and one red.

You are very speedy at responding to your blog comments!

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

They go to the gmail account I keep open at work, so they pop up on my screen. I pretty much ignore my job these days.

Jiri ha detto...

Could it be that everything is sexualized in our society because sex is a taboo? This popped into my head when I read Mistress's comment that people will pay more for things they think are naughty.