OHHHHHHHHH

I just got home and wrote this pre-bed email for someone - but I can't just send it to one person - everyone deserves this tale of fucking, fuck, man. Person who guesses closest gets something I crochet, someday. Goodnight.

"I think most of us have friends who have tried it once. Most of us have stupid friends. I mean, that's not what peeing OR other people is for!

I nearly fucking died tonight. Gigi and I had been planning on seeing this new opera for about a week - 'Yours to Break', an erotic song and dance thing between a soprano and a guy dancer - incorporating soul + old pop standards - really well reviewed, and, you know, I'll see a fucking opera if it's there, right, even if people say it sucks, because I won't believe them. And the opera is playing in a theatre with a couple of different stages. So I get there early to pick up the tickets and get seats because it's general admission, and the lady at the ticket office directs me to the back theatre, outside and around a corner. I meet Gigi, we go into the theatre, it's not too crowded and we realize there are still seats RIGHT IN THE FRONT ROW. So we're like fuck, let's sit up there, that's fucking sweet. We chat about his nice suit and how everybody's had insomnia all week. The performance seems to start late. And then when it does . . .

Okay, I'm too baked to type the rest of the story now and I got a singing lesson in ten hours. Guess what we saw when the performance started - and I warn you, your best chance of guessing anything close to the truth is to go for the palpably absurd and unlikely.

Your kitchen misses you, and the world misses you in the kitchen,

Mlle la Spliffe."