venerdì, novembre 13, 2015

Well, how about that.

The oven is full and has been fired up.

So last time I got pregnant was pretty easy to localize in time because we had just started trying to get me pregnant, like, the day before my mum had a sudden medical emergency and I had to go from Buttfuck Nowhere Australia to Canada. However, it's a mystery to me which sexual encounter was responsible, because Godzilla is our first child so life was one big fuckfest back then, and my stress response, even to "oh god my parent may die on the other side of the planet before I can even get to Sydney airport, living in the backwoods of this fucking Antipodean infrastructureless mess blows", was to fuckfest even harder. In 36 hours there would have been a good 10 opportunities. (I know, right? Go F-word go!)

It's interesting to me that based on the last pregnancy test I did besides this morning*, which was negative, and on October 1 - assuming that wasn't a false negative - there were probably fewer opportunities for this egg to decide to try to hatch eventually. Maybe three? Three in two weeks? Lots of stress these days, fortunately nothing on par with a punctured mother, but the stress response now is to fall asleep at the same time as Godzilla and eat lots of poppyseed cake. Wow, does life ever change. And I guess it's about to change again. I can imagine a life with two children as well as I could imagine a life with one when I had none, which is - the mind boggles, and I think of my nonna who raised 11 of her own and a couple of the neighbours', and I figure we'll work something out.

Yes, I know, I'm confiding early. But I need to talk about this and think about this, and as I believe I mentioned last time, I'll need to talk and think about this even harder if it doesn't work. Especially since this time there is a new aspect of isolation - linguistic and cultural this time, instead of living in Podunk Nowhere, population A Bunch of Aussie Hippies - so even though I think my readership is down to about four, I need to write and think about it, you four guys. At least I'm closer to people who can help. At least I kind of know what I'm doing, a little, I guess.

* I wrote this post when I found out I was pregnant, like, a month ago. Life hasn't got quite that dry.