So I'm in Davisville listening to Handel again, but not feeling the panicky flushes of exhausted accomplishment that accompanied my last stint up here. I'm finding it ferociously hard to buckle down on my defence. Part of it is too many other things to think about. Yesterday I must have spent four hours trying to wrestle my travel intinerary into line. It's so people-dependant - I need feedback on school hours, on if they still smoke reefer, if they have a dealer or if I have to mail some on ahead. One friend who will be away on an anti-winter holiday when I arrive is leaving her apartment for me - that's nice. Staying with Mlle B would have been nice too, but this way I can have some peace of mind as I prepare for the defence.Defence. It's going slow. I'm having a hard time - I think because the actual defence is still weeks away, which is not much time but feels like alot to my stupid brain. Also because I'm nervous. Miss C pointed out, however - god, she's been so good through all of this - that I know more about this subject than any of the professors at the school, which is indisputably true. No reflection on their quality, but the Canadian cannabis industry will never be at the top of the need-to-know pile for French academia. She also says my thesis is good, and I'm inclined to agree with her. First, now that it's polished and controlled I like it. Second, I have the sort of friends who won't hesitate to tell me if I need a haircut, if I look like a walking corpse, if I've committed a reprehensible sexual faux pas or if I've crossed the line from eccentricity to barking madness; a lot of them have read the thesis and the feedback has been universally good.
Here's the thing - I know who my jury members are now. One of them is my advisor. As my advisor, he's not supposed to let me defend until he feels the thesis is good. Thing is, I know he hasn't read the introduction or conclusion; I'm not fully persuaded he's read two out of three parts; and though he's given me straight positive feedback about part 1, the 'positive' feedback on the second and third parts has been a short-lived accusation of plagiarism. Also, at the end of my coursework my oral exam with him was the most brutal. The year was marked by averages so I don't know what he gave me, but I think it was a fail. I had a feeling he was trying to demonstrate my stupid American-ness. Now that he knows I'm Canadian maybe it will be better. But I'm going to make damn sure I go into this defence knowing everything pertaining to the drug-export trade in Latin America, which the conversation will probably turn to, since he's a bit of a Latin Americanist.
Thank god for the Economist. I love you, Economist.
There's only one other man on my jury, who I don't know. The girl I know who's defended didn't have him on hers, so for him - I guess I'll have to Google him and see what his angle is.
Okay, I'm just going to say this once. I'M TIRED OF SCHOOL. I WANT TO SPEND ALL THE TIME I'VE SPENT ON BOOK-LEARNING THESE PAST TWO YEARS MAKING SWEET LOVE. MAKING SWEET LOVE IS MORE FUN THAN BOOK-LEARNING. AND I MEAN IT. TODAY.
6 commenti:
so you're coming over to spew moon-man talk about cannabis this week? you can come over everyday this week if that would reassure you of your abilities to do so.
and HEAR HEAR! on that last part. i think we're both MAJORLY DUE for some regular love-ins. Like weeks worth of not wanting to get out of bed. man o' man...
I can't believe you have a link to wholenote magazine on your blog.
My magazine marketing teacher is the editor-in-chief of wholenote.
I have more to say about that but not online where people can google other people too easily.
The movie about the Grizzly Man sounds interesting, and the Grizly Man himself sounds like a really interesting character. Anyway, camping with bears is a dumb thing to do - as demonstrated by the fact that he and his girlfriend got killed and partially eaten in the process. Still, I don't think it's the same sort of stupidity as swimming with dolphins, and that's because dolphins don't eat people and bears do, and so you can't be a total jerk when you're around bears.
I guess what the world needs is someone who would release crocodiles instead of dolphins into the dolphin-swimming pool. That would be good news on TV.
Lady: I'll be showing you my hair tomorrow, but not much else. I'm in the grip on mental constipation so dire it's revolting.
Cali: Wholenote is a great resource, but I can tell you have some funny stories.
Jiri: Crocodiles? Dolphins? Is this a cautionary tale about swimming with dolphins? If so, elaborate, because I've always thought it would be a nice lark to swim with dolphins.
Well, I was thinking that the dolphins probably don't care too much for swimming with humans. And so the whole enterprise would make much more sense to me if the humans who pay to swim with the dolphins had to consider the possibility - even if it's a small one - that the animals that are going to be released into the pool enveloping their fragile and nutritious bodies may not be dolphins but crocodiles.
But, but, the story would be different if people go swimming in the sea to a place where dolphins are known to come to check the funny looking monkeys out out of curiosity. Those people shouldn't be subjected to death by crocodiles.
Ohhhhhhh. I gotcha. Yes, yes, I concur. I always wanted to swim with dolphins in the ocean, not in a tank. It's sick to keep them in a tank. I'd rather crocodiles were kept in a tank, because I think they're operating at a more eat/sleep sorta level. But I wouldn't want to swim with them in a tank either.
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