I wish to continue to treat myself visually (and orally - oh yes - it's coming with me everywhere today) to this Baker Street 'Midnight Madness' cake, just as I continue to treat my ears to Benjamin Biolay. Track 7 of Négatif, "Little Darlin,'" is the prettiest thing I've heard in ages and the remix of the bluegrass track through it brings out what I've always liked about bluegrass while leaving out all the annoying buzzes and pointy things that never have enough bass to give them a context.
Anyways, it's so very good. Négatif is copy protected. I don't mind that - on principle one should buy rather than borrow an album this good. I'm just annoyed because I can't buy it. I guess I can pay to download it from somewhere, but in all honesty I, like Melbine, have my Luddite tendencies. I dearly like to have a CD to hold and put somewhere appropriate. Too many computers have crapped out on me for me to want to trust them with my music.
"Little Darlin'" is a song about offing oneself, which came up as a topic of conversation recently in the context of a person of my acquaintance who'd been more or less promising to, over a former relationship. Friends, initially supportive, are becoming alienated, feeling used and under-appreciated in their efforts to be there for him, which often end in "I hope you tell _____ what she's doing to me."
So when does one walk away? God, what a question, eh? As a general question it's ridiculous, of course, since every case is different.
But I think in this case some of the frustration of the people around him comes from confusion over being suicidal and being depressed. This person doesn't seem depressed in the medical sense. But in my experience depression and suicide don't have the direct causal link people think they do. The more the sad-ass stories about this person sink in, the more it seems like he's un-depressed enough to have the energy to actually do it. And at the same time, it's like he's furiously applying this energy to chase away the people who are there to support him.
Don't know why I'm going on about it, except it's disturbing me and I need to think about it in general terms to deal with it. Damn: I wish people paid less attention to relationships sometimes. North American society has got to a point where romance is the only really obligatory passion and that's pathetic. Not in the case of this person particularly, but in the broader scheme. Thinking of killing yourself over a peice of ass . . . I don't blame him for it or anything like that, he's suffering and he's sick right now, and not knowing him well enough to have ended up taking care of him in any way I can feel bad for him without feeling annoyed. But I do rather blame the world around him for making it seem like an okay idea.
Yesterday I heard from my favourite kid student from Paris. She's hitting puberty now and dealing with drama over her first boyfriend. It fucking begins so young . . . I told her not to take seriously anything anyone her age, including boys, says for the next ten years. I love that kid like a neice so I hope she listens. Love + drama + dissappointment = silly pigshit. God, it's awful to think of the kids in my family or old students getting sucked into these so-called adult romantic notions. Arts and crafts are so much more fun. Sigh.