lunedì, gennaio 29, 2007

Collusion

Feeling like poo and making exorbitant promises to myself even I don't believe anymore about how I'm not going to beat myself up with applications so badly now that this one is almost done. It's just this fucking university application - so involved. I translated my French transcript last Friday and it was a terrible trip down memory lane. Although I did well in the end and that made things better, I have never had such a roundly mortifying academic experience as going to school in that bloody country, and I have a feeling part of my lack of motivation now might have something to do with memories of being accountable to a group of fucking pompous twats and not getting paid for it. Oh, it exhausts me just remembering.

Anyways. I've run myself sick so now I'll have time to polish the application material, which suggests to me my body is in collusion with some part of my brain I'm not happy with at the moment. I'll tell you one thing though - I can no longer bear weekends like the past one. I really can't . . . hours and hours and hours in front of the cocking computer while shelves of delicious books beckoned and soooo many other pleasanter courses of action reared their head.

Not much else to tell you that I can recall. Went to Matignon for a Winterlicious meal. Pretty good. Had better. The fish was beautifully fresh but the sauces were over-salty and the chocolate cake was unremarkable. Should have gone for Italian. Now I'm going to fix the last page of the fucking outline of the fucking dissertation and go back to bed.

6 commenti:

Melbine ha detto...

Collusion is such a great word...

...Matignon looks really nice from their website. And they want to make it really, really clear that they offer wedding packages to gay and lesbian couples, so that's nice too.

Ho-hum, sorry you're sick, hope you're back in bed!

Lady ha detto...

i want to go back to bed. faaaaack. today sucks and it's barely begun.

Sugarplum ha detto...

Sorry you spent your weekend doing crappy things. Sorry you spent your masters at a school with crappy people. My classmates were great but there was that element to it here as well. Some people took themselves so seriously - they would read literary theory for fun (something I hadn't given my cherry to until my master's year) they would quote them in conversations. Of course I hung out with the literary types who would go back to their rooms and smoke a joint before heading out for an afterclass beer. But I had one class each semester that I dreaded. My point is that it is this side of academia (and the competitive side I caught a glimpse of) that convinced me that I didn't want to fill out all those applications to continue. Are you positive you want to head back in? Is this based on a job experience that makes you hate working?

artemis ha detto...

The winterlicious menu at Matigon has much more choice than I thought it would. Sorry it wasn't up to par!

The more I think about how much I like coming home after work and doing exactly what I want, the more I stop even considering going back to school.

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

Am I postive I want to head back? No. In fact, at the moment, I don't want to head back at all. But I figure I might as well try to give myself the option, in case it turns out I do and that someone is willing to offer me money for it.

Thing is, I know what Artemis is talking about; other thing is, little as I like my job's mandate I don't have a particular problem with working at the right place.

Melbine ha detto...

It's great that you're giving yourself the option - the more options we have in life, the better! You're a smart girl, you'll figure out what the next path is...