It being fucking retarded cold, it may be the wrong time to say it or feel it. But last night as I left the office at 5 fucking 30 as usual I felt a sense of heady triumph (that's right; not just triumph, but heady triumph) because it was unmistakably still light. Glorified twilight, to be sure; partly trickery from the nearby buildings reflecting gold sunset all over the place - but light all the same, and I felt heady triumph. Likely an instinctual sort of thing that humans get when they realize they're probably going to survive yet another long dark winter, some holdover from the days before we'd discovered central heating and long underwear. From most of our biological history, really.
Anyways, the greatest challenge I'm facing survival-wise this winter has been my over-heated, bone dry apartment that last night sent me gasping awake to the kitchen to try to drown the parch straight from the tap. It's also been wreaking flaky havoc on my skin, as has the amusing twenty minute walk to and from the office which I can't forgo. In part because the TTC makes me sick, in another part because I don't have time to go to the gym anymore so if I didn't have the foot commute there'd be a good chance of me blossoming out into a soft, yielding growth. Yesterday I decided desperate times call for desperate measures so I got a dedicated facial moisturizer. It's from Burt's Bees so it smells just like carrots, which stops me from feeling impossibly girly.
And you know what? That's my fucking news. I still haven't heard from Brussels, I'm still just applying for things as they come up. I don't have time for anything but blah-ing with Figaro because I fall asleep so soon after getting back from whatever I have to do evening-wise. But the good news is that it's the weekend, and also that I think I'm actually getting used to living in a state of nervous anticipation. It's starting to not bug me so much. That's nice. I think watching that Bollywood film last weekend really put things in perspective. I might not know what's happening in the next three weeks, but at least I'm not involved in a bizarre love triangle in which everyone has the utmost affection for each other and someone has an untreatable heart condition. Yay!