giovedì, maggio 22, 2008

Notes from the land of staggering, badly-intentioned incompetence

The Red Dragon and that Peter Sellers sensation have both flitted away, leaving me in a good enough mood, though still rather furious about what a shittery Belgium is. The F-word and I have been subject to a scam by the leading internet/telephony/television provider here, Belgacom, that used to have a monopoly, and it pisses me off when companies try to scam me. Don't they know who I am? I'm Mistress La Fucking Spliffe, for god's sake. Anyhoo, it didn't work so far though I doubt we're out of the woods yet . . .

A few days ago a huge box arrived here by courier, full of accoutrements for a television cable set up, and accompanied by a letter in Dutch, which obviously neither of us speak - we registered with them as French speakers. Hmm. Outside of the Dutch, there were two problems with the delivery: we hadn't ordered it, and we don't have a fucking television. Triple hmmm.

The F-word had to spend a few days (seriously) getting an English speaker on the hotline, as I've been crashingly busy at the office and as their hotline is only open during business hours. Finally he reached one yesterday, who explained to him that someone at the company had illicitly 'ordered' the package for us. In the meantime, the F-word had spoken to a few of his Anglo colleagues, to whom the same mysterious wrong-language letter and box of accoutrements had arrived - to be followed by a bill for €200 three months later . . . so he was able to get suitably furious over the phone. Fine. Handled. Our complaint was registered and the order stricken off. AND THEN . . .

1. The cunt asked the F-word to bring the huge box of accoutrements back to the store himself
2. The cunt asked if we'd like to expand our package
3. The cunt asked if we'd like to renew our service contract, which is set to expire at the end of the month.

How fucking dimestore. Honestly, the whole episode, combined with a bunch of peripheral things that have been happening and I'm in too much of a rush to go into now, have left me convinced that Belgium is like Italy's younger uglier brother that got dropped on its head when it was a baby. That same intense laziness, incompetence, and graspingness at the organizational level, combined with the sort of shit-headed stupidity that's going to make you ask someone who your company has just tried to defraud to carry a big box of ripoff back to the store, and then to buy more of your shit.

The F-word very suitably refused to bring the box back, so now we wait for more shitcanery. There's something almost funny about it. Sweet motherfuck, I will not be sad to see the back of this country.

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