The warning came last Wednesday in London. After the Bacon exhibition we were walking through one of the many parkettes to meet Rodelinda, and we were enjoying the unseasonal heat and sun - 'frolicking', I believe you could call it. At one point we were frolicking around a copy of Rodin's Burghers of Calais, and I noticed the burghers, and indeed I, and indeed my lover, were casting long, long shadows, and that the sunlight had a strange crystalline quality. I looked at my €35 Nokia. 12:19. High-ish noon, and the sun, when I glanced at him, was riding so low in the sky that he threatened to pop behind the horizon at any minute.
'We're in fucking Scandinavia,' I told the F-word. 'We're enjoying a nice fucking day in the fucking Arctic.'
London is rather more to the north than Brussels and the Death of Day is more apparent there, but the event shook me out of complacency here. It had already been making me suffer, the damnable daylight savings shift meaning I was now walking home from work in the damnable dark, but London got me into proactive mode, and that just as the sudden brutal rollout of cold and snow and winter happened here in Brussels; it snowed like a motherfucker all weekend and it's been cold. So, no more reefer and drink, except on social occasions. Forced marches no matter what wet or frozen shit is falling out of the Belgian sky, in a desperate bid to get some Vitamin D. Unfettered baking. Butter and oats in everything. More cheese. Suddenly the diet is super rich in fat and tryptophan.
Anyways, so far it's all going quite badly. My temper has shortened, I'm falling asleep compulsively all over the place despite getting 10 hours a night, and the weirdo paranoia has started. This morning, as I slooooowly shook myself out of sleep, the palindrome 'a man, a plan, a canal, Panama' went on loop in my poor addled brain and started freaking me out, scaring the shit out of me. And getting the Van Halen song stuck in my head on a loop on top of the palindrome loop was the opposite of helpful. I'll hope for the best.