giovedì, aprile 30, 2009

Is it just me or did you do something new with your slime trail today?

Finished watching Life in the Undergrowth last night. I wouldn't say I have a thing about insects but I did spend a lot of the series feeling like there were bugs crawling around under my skin. Nonetheless it was very lovely in a Microcosmos kind of way, but more like a Microcosmos for grownups, I'd say. The slugs fucking in the first episode was to the snail porn in Microcosmos as Curvy Girls XXX is to a Miley Cyrus video, for example. I don't know if I've ever seen anything quite as pornographic as those slugs fucking. Youtube has it:

It was also an awful lot more violent than Microcosmos. The only sort of scary bit in Microcosmos, as I remember, was that bird appearing and eating all the scurrying things, but Life in the Undergrowth had a lot more gore and social upheaval. Whole little Late Roman Empires quaking around under our feet at any given moment. There are a lot of things I love about David Attenborough, but one of them is the way he makes me see nature as a massive collection of cocks and fannies and hungers waiting for an opportunity. It gives order and sense to a seemingly chaotic world. No wonder the Christians hate him.

Speaking of, another thing I love about David Attenborough is the way he drives the question of creationism vs. evolution to its natural conclusion with his it's-not-all-hummingbirds-and-orchids-what-about-blinding-parasitic-worms-in-children's-eyeballs line - that you can believe in creationism if you want, but then you have to believe God is an asshole. Which when you think about it, isn't an argument against creationism, but a psychological clarion call.

Because let's face it: most very vocal Christians do see God as an asshole. An asshole who'll destroy us all and winnow the chaff from the wheat and the wheat has to kiss his ass eternally to be allowed to not burn in hell. An asshole whose hand is in every stinking human event and who can be appealed to in every stinking human eventuality; whose overwhelming, assoholic omnipotence can relieve us of responsibility for every phenomenon which goes outside of the bounds of personal, immediate morality. An asshole, apparently, who only hits us because he loves us, baby. It's alright that the planet is heating up: God is an asshole. It's alright that Africa is dying of AIDS: God is an asshole. And I love him.

Frankly, I find that sort of vocal Christian attitude to God shocking, insulting, insupportable. I don't think God is an asshole. But then I don't have a Stockholm syndrome complex with nowhere to go that I'm trying to foist off on all my fellow 'victims'. God is what He is and we are what we are and we must all simply do the best we can.

9 commenti:

Baywatch ha detto...

spkng of parasitic worms in kids' eyes, I'm aware of yr antipathy for the "lather-rinse-repeat" formula adhered to by House, but that epsiode where the autistic kid has parasitic worms in his eyes is pretty sweet.

guilty noodles ha detto...

you guys are not helping my nausea.

Baywatch ha detto...

you know what helps nausea?

guilty noodles ha detto...

lemme guess... acid?

guilty noodles ha detto...

i think you hit it with your last line. mind if i use it?

thank you for the slugs. i learn something new with your posts every day.

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

I wish everybody would use it.

If was just a little bit more NORML than I am, Guilty Noodles, I'd swear pot would be the thing that fixed you. I honestly don't have any idea of its real efficacy as a medecine, but lots of people claim it's marvellous for migraines and nausea, hence the medical legalization in so many places. Has your army of specialists ever mentioned it?

guilty noodles ha detto...

of course not. it would be unprofessional for them to. however, everyone else in the world has... including my husband's boss, who is pretty conservative. the owner of the cottages i rent from strongly suggested medicinal m to me, but when i went up there, he didn't share... why bother bringing it up?

a friend gave me a joint and it's sitting on top of my bookcase right now. i don't know how old it is, but every time someone comes over, there's always the, "did you know you have a joint on the bookcase in your playroom?" yes, yes, i know. i was the one who put it there, in case of emergency.

i didn't know the big m helps nausea. you guys are really swaying me.

guilty noodles ha detto...

actually, a few weeks ago, i had to be evaluated by a psychiatrist and he asked me about weed. i told him i had tried it in high school, but i blacked out and had no control of my body. there was about 45 minutes where i flopped around and laughed hysterically. my friends were super pissed, but i had no clue what had happened. my shrink was certain it was laced with something and i may want to revisit the option. he was the only professional who actually mentioned it, but surprisingly, i never returned to him. he shoved too many questionaires in my face.

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

As much as I love the sweet, sweet weed I know it's just no good for some people; it can make them anxious to an unbearable point, or diassociative, even without it being laced with something.

But there really is a reason so many people have been mentioning it; it's flogged all the time for migraines and nausea in Canada, where it's been medically kosher for ages. I don't know if it works, of course. The only way I've used marijuana is to self-medicate the horrible disease of chronic not-being-highness.

Seriously though, if you'd like to try, I imagine it would be worth it to get medical grade things from people who have some idea of how to use it medicinally, if only for your own reassurance. And make sure the first few times you try that there's nothing pressing to do in the following 12 hours so you can relax, even if it goes wrong.