martedì, aprile 14, 2009

Mustang Spliffey

Driving last night was fun. All except the point where I was accidentally in fifth gear and the bastard nearly stalled. My exam is in less than three weeks, and last night was the first time I thought I might pass it. And strangely, or strangely to me, anyways, my incredibly bad mood made me a better driver, or at least made me feel like a better driver. Speedier after intersections. Less veery. Also there was a big electrical spring storm, lightening all over the place, rolling thunder - and somehow that helped too.

Quite a lovely spring here. Up until the big storm last night, very sunny and warm, everything getting green and flowery at once. The young men are all full of stares and lust and jissom. I wonder how it will feel in ten years or so when I'm invisible to that sort of thing. I swing between thinking it will be fucking awesome, and that it will bring on some sort of existential crisis. But you know what, there are worse things than existential crises.

Speaking of worse things, I'm being confrontational this afternoon, which I must go through before we go on vacation in Bordeaux. Maybe if I'm confrontational enough it will be an eight-month pogey vacation. Cross your fingers for me. The last week or so has demonstrated to me that I need to work on my confrontationality a little more. Fuck, you can pay through the nose for years of fucking analysis but it's just in one ear and out the other with me; we were talking about my confrontational inabilities four fucking years ago.

4 commenti:

Lady ha detto...

i'm with you on the inability to be confrontational. jesus it's pathetic. last night a girl gave me the worst braids i've ever seen on anyone and i was like, :forced smile: "thanks!" rather than, "um, what the hell are you doing??!"

if you get any epiphanies, let me know.

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

I'm working on it. So far it looks like incremental baby steps, and reminding yourself when your voice falters that other people's fuckups can either be your problem (unfair) or theirs (fair).

guilty noodles ha detto...

I tend to beat myself up if I don't confront and defend myself. But at the same time, I worry that I would get so caught up in my uncontrollable anger, I would end up regretting it later. So I over do it and am super nice in confrontational situations. I'm often times mistaken for a ditz as a result.

Just like Lady, please do let me know if you have any epiphanies. It's an impossible balance to keep.

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

Judging by my performance this afternoon, Noodles, you're waaaaay ahead of me. I was so nice as I was being confrontational and have been asking myself all afternoon in consequence if I sounded like a ditz.

Luckily I've got the same vocal pitch as Marlene Dietrich so I can't sound like a ditz if I try. Only like a Trailer Park Boy.