Q: What's a five star hotel in Istanbul exactly like?
A: Every other fucking five star hotel in the world.
All over continental Europe, even the bit the other Europeans argue isn't Europe (and this place is fucking Europe, man, it's obvious in everything from the way people dress to the way they overcook their vegetables) it's the same fucking story: anodyne marble and carpet without any ununiformed proles; a Holiday Inn with a health spa and a shitload of overpampered congress delegates.
Fuckin' speed the weekend.
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