Mum left a freezer full of cookies, cake, tomato sauce, and meatballs. Every time I eat from the stash it feels like a hug and a kiss from her. Astounding how seeing her with Godzilla, and having had Godzilla, and having had her help for a month has made me appreciate her about 1000 times more. And I'd thought I was already pretty appreciative. She's the best. I know a lot of people think that about their mothers, but even other people generally admit my mother's the best. What the poor woman did to deserve a shower of assholes like us I really don't know. Well, I guess Luke Duke is pretty nice.
As I alluded to in the last post, Tweak makes me appreciate her even more. The main reason why is that Tweak just isn't fucking nice to the F-word. It really looks like a case of familiarity breeding contempt somehow, which I thought wasn't something that applied to parents and children. The F-word, as is obvious as I'm with him, is a really exceptional person, and to see that go unrecognized by his own father makes me want to vomit. The other reason why is that I'm never quite sure when Tweak is joking. For example we were, I thought, joking about my pregnancy fat and about how fast Beyonce lost hers, but about three minutes in it became clear he'd thought about it quite calculatingly and was absolutely serious that while she dropped hers super fast due to being rich and having dietiticians and personal trainers, I had a year before people started making fun of me. Ergo est, he wasn't joking. He wasn't trying to be a jagoff either. He was just being Tweak.
And Tweak being here at the same time as Mum made me realize that I'm very, very lucky to have her, and indeed Dad, rather than someone like Tweak, even though I think he does mean well, and even though Mum's tomato sauce shits all over his, despite her being such an English rose. The F-word's family does generally have the effect of making mine look better. Gosh, I miss her. I think Godzilla does too in his senseless, sensual way. He's a little more easily bored today, which makes sense after a solid month of Granny cuddles.
As I alluded to in the last post, Tweak makes me appreciate her even more. The main reason why is that Tweak just isn't fucking nice to the F-word. It really looks like a case of familiarity breeding contempt somehow, which I thought wasn't something that applied to parents and children. The F-word, as is obvious as I'm with him, is a really exceptional person, and to see that go unrecognized by his own father makes me want to vomit. The other reason why is that I'm never quite sure when Tweak is joking. For example we were, I thought, joking about my pregnancy fat and about how fast Beyonce lost hers, but about three minutes in it became clear he'd thought about it quite calculatingly and was absolutely serious that while she dropped hers super fast due to being rich and having dietiticians and personal trainers, I had a year before people started making fun of me. Ergo est, he wasn't joking. He wasn't trying to be a jagoff either. He was just being Tweak.
And Tweak being here at the same time as Mum made me realize that I'm very, very lucky to have her, and indeed Dad, rather than someone like Tweak, even though I think he does mean well, and even though Mum's tomato sauce shits all over his, despite her being such an English rose. The F-word's family does generally have the effect of making mine look better. Gosh, I miss her. I think Godzilla does too in his senseless, sensual way. He's a little more easily bored today, which makes sense after a solid month of Granny cuddles.
3 commenti:
Your past gladdened me. Not many folk can truthfully say that about their Ma. She sounds a good woman. And I can't see that she'll not love everyone of you - deserving or not.
It's more like the Tweak way for the majority. Fair to poor-ish bad.
It's just the way of it. That we could just as easily have a shit parent as a good one. And there's no 'deserving' in this life - is there? Just as well speak of moral sense in an earthquake. It just is. We get the parents we get.
I spent 9 years protecting kids through the courts and tribunals - removing them from the very shit ones. Still amazed me as much as the end as it did at the beginning - how much those kids will still be loyal to even the shittest parent.
I've always hoped they dropped the loyalty when they were adults.
You and your Mum and F-word and your Dad and Godzilla - there's a lot of reasons to be happy.
Yep. It's down to luck. Good or bad or indifferent. And then that changes everything. No fair or unfair about it - just have to remember our blessings are as little our doing as other people's fuckedupednesses are just about their choices.
Yip. I often looked at the adults Spliffe and wondered what horrors they had experienced to lead them to the despair and chaos and pain they had 'chosen'. Reflected that if there had been some respite for them in their own childhood,then that might have saved their own kids. And sometimes it seemed to me that the choices had been made for them - their life paths pre-determined by their own experiences of neglect and abuse. But my wondering only made the job harder - eventually you get to a place where you simply do what you're paid to do: prove the offences and remove the children and move on. I specialised in child protection for nine years. I can't say I wasn't relieved to get out.
Dearie me. You can count on me to lower the mood.
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