I feel good about it, because it took a year and a half, but finally the Conversation was had the other night.
"F-word?"
"Yes?"
"Have you noticed . . . how ugly German children are?"
"It's not just the children. There are a lot of plain-looking people here."
"There's about three cute children at Godzilla's kindergarten, and he's one of them."
"Mmmmhmmm."
"I don't get it. The kids are all cute in the Netherlands and Belgium, and mostly in France, and in Italy."
"Well, I can't explain it. Germans just sort of look like that."
"I mean there are ugly people everywhere, like there are some Italians who are like monster bog people, and you don't see a lot of super-ugly people here like that, but . . ."
"They don't look good."
"No." Pause. "Remember that Nosferatu-looking kid at Godzilla's old daycare? The one who looked 500 years old?"
"I'll never forget. Starting straight into the darkest places of your soul."
"I miss that kid."
"F-word?"
"Yes?"
"Have you noticed . . . how ugly German children are?"
"It's not just the children. There are a lot of plain-looking people here."
"There's about three cute children at Godzilla's kindergarten, and he's one of them."
"Mmmmhmmm."
"I don't get it. The kids are all cute in the Netherlands and Belgium, and mostly in France, and in Italy."
"Well, I can't explain it. Germans just sort of look like that."
"I mean there are ugly people everywhere, like there are some Italians who are like monster bog people, and you don't see a lot of super-ugly people here like that, but . . ."
"They don't look good."
"No." Pause. "Remember that Nosferatu-looking kid at Godzilla's old daycare? The one who looked 500 years old?"
"I'll never forget. Starting straight into the darkest places of your soul."
"I miss that kid."
3 commenti:
It's interesting how little truth there seems to be in notions of remarkable Nordic beauty . . . just a few odd stunners getting thrown up once in awhile, but it must have something to do with perceptions of blondeness as desirable that hasn't got that notion shitcanned yet. I've spent quite a lot of time in various parts of northern Europe, and I'm going to lump the UK into that, and the only place I've found people more good looking than is par for the course is the Netherlands.
All subjective though . . . once one of the F-word's Russian students told him "you know you're in Holland when the cows are hotter than the women." I should also note that I've never been to Norway and women elsewhere in the region have told me often and breathlessly that Norwegian men are the world's best.
Funny you should mention the blond thing. My youngest - the one who was forced to attend the whole holiday (oh god she was so so good - angelic even - though she does hate brushing her teeth) attracted a lot of attention. Male and female.
At 5'9" she's taller than me now - and taller than her 25yr old sister too. And she is blond. A natural blond that shows little sign of darkening. She is a female footballer - and very anti make-up/artifice etc - innocent and entirely unselfconscious (which is a bit of a wonder in this family to be honest). But she was a magnet for everyone.
Mind you R was often spoken to in Danish or Swedish - he is 6'5" and a former ginger (now mostly white and bald) - Ana has inherited his looks.
I just looked German...
PS I went to Uni with some Norwegian lads - and nope... did nowt for me... clearly I'm into the Danish/Swedish vibe...
What's the history there? Obviously Celts or at least Celtic women dominated the country's history given the language but surely you can't have had a country so close to all those Germanic marauders without some gene-swapping, at least by the coasts and rivers?
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