The only boy who could ever reach me

So yesterday the Globe and Mail made allusion to the 1996 Brit Awards, when Jarvis Cocker rushed the stage and danced his way into my heart during one of Michael Jackson's Messianic travesties. Siiiiiigh . . . which has got two things on my mind: first, why the Globe claims Jarvis Cocker briefly kidnapped one of the performers (a claim that could be why the article isn't available electronically, seems a very naughty thing to write to me - I don't think even Camp Michael ever claimed one of the performers was abducted. Naughty!); second, what the best song EVER is.

Because 'The Love You Save' from the Jackson Five is almost the best song EVER, but Germaine's backing vocals sound bored and uninvolved until about halfway through. Not to mention, there's a certain creepiness factor in little Michael Jackson singing with so much raw passion when his nuts probably hadn't descended yet.

Then there's 'Jolene' from Dolly Parton; again, perfect for what it is outside of the backing vocals, which sound like a chorus of squirrels. Fucking country music. . . then Johnny Cash's cover of U2's 'One', which is probably only hurt by the fact that it's hard to not remember Bono Vox's original yodelling when it's on. I'd throw in 'Lovely Day' from Bill Withers too . . . but with that last one I start wondering if that's a little subjective, because that song makes me feel so good personally, like being woken up by someone adorable nuzzling your legs.

Opera standards I'm not including since way too much depends on the plethora of performers who tackle them - the most beautiful thing I've ever heard was Danielle de Niese singing 'Se'l mio duol non e si forte' from Rodelinda, but there's no way I think that's the best opera standard ever. Ya know? Ya know.

So a song whose sheer fucking perfection surpasses all others could well be 'Papa was a Rolling Stone'. I mean, there's absolutely nothing in that song which isn't perfect. Very hard to put it on and not listen to the whole thing raptly, while thinking something along the lines of 'Holy shit!'

Other candidates?

Yes, I'm having a hard time concentrating at work. Good guess.