Good morning, my doves. I’m feeling so funky I don’t know what to do with myself. It will probably involve going to work, though. Before I do, I’d like to share a story I heard last night about the first time in eight years Mr. C was forced to say a pre-dinner grace (is there any other kind?) at the request of a client, whose family he was wining and dining. Rising to the occasion, Mr. C bowed his head and prayed,
“Lord, bless this food we are about to receive, and everybody have a nice day.”
So they caught the pisseurs. Am I betraying a fatuous indulgence when I say the phrase ’23 year old man’ sounds completely oxymoronic? How many 23 year old men have you ever known? I’ve known none. Not one single goddamn 23 year old man. Any male creature I’ve known of that age could have a lot of nouns applied to him, but ‘man’ is not one of them. Well, there was one. But he was a civil war veteran from Lebanon so he was special. Also he was really hot so I might have been misled.
I’m not saying there shouldn’t be legal consequences for a retard who pisses on a war memorial or a tomb, of the Unknown Soldier or whoever else. Just that we’ve collectively allowed a society wherein little is asked of young men, so it’s unreasonable to only blame them when we start expecting something of them all of a sudden. I’m pretty sure 80% of my male acquaintance of any age would consider it fairly acceptable to piss where they stood if they were drunk enough, and 100% of my male acquaintance would have considered it a jolly lark to piss wherever they thought they shouldn’t when they were 23 if they’d drunk at all.
Too many video games and lousy media role models, that’s the problem. Too much Adam Sandler and not enough Tom Selleck. And women giving it up for men who don’t hold doors open for them. Ladies, can’t you tell he’s trying as hard as he fucking can to select himself out? You’re not going to turn around that wild horse! Nail someone more polite!