venerdì, agosto 25, 2006

Dear Caker World:

You’ve figured out café lattés are better than drip coffee. Good for you. It long-a-fucking-‘nuff, but now many, if not most of you seem to understand that café lattés are a good thing to be drinking and not just something to mispronounce at Starbucks. Although you still do that very enthusiastically too. Felicitations.

Now, what continues to disturb and disappoint me is that soy and skim café lattés are ubiquitous yet goat milk lattés only make appearances in my kitchen.

Let’s forget that goat milk is cheaper to produce and more globally ubiquitous than cow’s milk because I understand the divide between caker logic and macroeconomic rationality. Let’s even forget that goat milk is easier on the system than cow’s milk and that soy milk is a processed abomination only people with dairy sensitivities should even consider putting in their mouths, because I understand cakers got NO logic when it comes to feeding themselves.

Just remember this: goat milk makes much, much better lattés, and it makes my heart bleed for youse guys that you don’t get to experience that in the course of a normal day. Try. You’ll believe.

Fuck, I hate Starbucks,

Mistress La Spliffe

6 commenti:

Melbine ha detto...

The saddest thing ever was when my friends had to get out of the goat milk business because they couldn't make ANY money from it. They gave me the best ice cream (from goat milk of course) that I ever tasted.

Did you know that almost as many people can't digest soy as can't cow's milk? I don't know where it got its digest-friendly wonderful reputation from!

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

I can't digest soy milk. Spectacularly.

I remember your friends. They were awesome and so friendly about showing me around! I wish the rest of the world was cleverer about how great thier product was.

Melbine ha detto...

Yes, they are awesome. They have 2 kids now so they've moved onto sheep as they're lower maintenance than a dairy farm.

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

And they're making decent money off the sheep? Just for meat or for other stuff too?

Melbine ha detto...

Yeah - but Mr. B still needs to go out and work full-time off the farm. :( That's the reality for the modern farmer unless you're in the bigtime..

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

Boooo. I hope they make it to the bigtime, if that's what they want. Maybe they can come live on Sugarplum's commune.