Have you seen the little piggies?

I reckon I'm a closeted fur-monger, because despite being a pinko I totally do not get people fussing over other people wearing cute animals. And I write this as a cat lover who would enthusiastically disembowel any Swiss fuck who tried to get my Lexie for a blanket. The thing is, if Lexie was a piggie, I'd be just as enthusiastic about eviscerating any Italian fuck who tried to turn her into salame, because I'd love her no matter how big and fat and delicious she was. I feel there's something much worse about habitually eating meat twice a day than having a couple of fur coats in the cupboard. And hence, there's something proportionately more retarded about getting knickers in a twist over stray cats being strangled for their pelt or baby seals getting their heads bashed in than over kabillions of piggies being slaughtered in revolting abattoirs after consuming far too many primary food resources that could have gone to stopping Haitians and such from rioting over their hunger.

I'm not saying I'm going to rush out and buy a fur coat after I make my first €100,000, because unless you live in a cold country they're Bad Taste, and baby, I taste like fucking candy bars. But I'm so fucking sick of animal rights activists basing their compassion on cuteness. They need to face it: the cuter an animal is, the cuter it's going to look as a coat. Maybe they think it'd be easier to whip the world up into a big orgy of caring about general animal welfare if they concentrate on the cute ones, but can anybody except another cute-lovin' animal rights activist take that sort of thing seriously when piggies - a much brighter, more sensitive, more affectionate, more intelligent, AND more unclean animal than baby seals or cats - are getting killed in their billions in slaughterhouse conditions that make getting your brains clubbed out on a chunk of ice or getting throttled in the Swiss countryside look like a sojourn in a thalasso spa?

I suspect it's also a question of money. I don't think anybody ever got rich clubbing baby seals or choking Swiss cats, but I think a lot of people have got rich from being assholes to pigs. And I don't think the shriller animal rights activists have the guts, brains, or resources to focus their sights on that sort of industry, no matter how engaging pigs are (really, they have lovely personalities, and they're sooooo cute when they're babies) and no matter how popular Charlotte's Web was. So PETA does fucking wet, retarded, alienating, things like get shirty with famous people over their dogs, a bully like Heather Mills tries to tackle a cottage industry in an economically depressed shithole by posing with seals, and a fucking flake like Brigitte Bardot does a number on Swiss entrepreneurs. Good god, what a bunch of attention-grabbing wets.