Confusing canicule

Belgians, man, they're fucking helpless. At least when it comes to the weather. A few weeks of freeze and snow this past summer and the world comes to a fucking end, and now another canicule, and not a fucking horrible one at that, and suddenly it's all heat rashes and sunstroke. For fuck's sake. Just fucking equip yourself - like so:

1. For fuck's sake, if you don't want your fucking apartment to be all hot at the end of the day, draw your curtains on an windows that receive direct sunlight

2. And think about the fucking air you're letting in, man, at the most fucking elementary level just think about it: the air is super hot in the middle of the day. Is that the air you want to come into your apartment? Or do you want the cooler nighttime or dawn air? Probably the second, right? Well, look, there's a fucking relationship between when you open your windows and what sort of air you let into your flat.

3. Following on heat at different times of the day: if you're lucky enough to have air conditioning at work, when do you think it would be best to use it? The morning, when it's cooler? Or right after lunch, when it is both hottest and most nap-timey? For fuck's sake. You'd think that one would be fucking built into the matrix but I work in one of the prime office buildings in the city, and it's fucking not.

4. Baby powder on the heat rash. Or corn starch. For fuck's sake.

5. Carry water and drink it. I know you don't want to look like a tourist, especially a tourist with the poor taste to come to Brussels, but suck it up.

6. Wear a fucking hat, you people look like lobsters who fucking escaped from the pot at the last minute.

7. And now you've got fucking water shortages? This is like the wettest place in the fucking developed world. How fucking incompetent do your processes have to be for three weeks of dry and hot to give you fucking water shortages? Well, that's not really advice, more abuse, but seriously, you've got it coming.