Good mood today due to one of those 'free' pay cheques. You know the ones; not directly earmarked for a bill, rent, reefer or other normal expenses, so you can buy the little things you've wanted for so long they feel necessary. This good mood was enhanced by a bird just missing shitting on me and my black corduroy coat as I walked to work. The feeling of luck that brought on reminded me of a game French surrealists used to play, wherein they made up new superstitions and proverbs when events in daily life seemed to have some extra-ordinary significance.
In that spirit, here are some new good-luck superstitions (let's stick to good-natured mind-fucks, shall we?) inspired by this morning's events to start spreading around:
1. Serendipity galore if birdshit just misses you while you're wearing corduroy,
2. Good health if an old Chinese woman on a bicycle horks onto the street while riding past you,
3. Good fortune with money if red wine leaks into your orange-y suede leather bag, smelling it up all nice,
4. Good luck in love if a colleague wet-coughs without covering her mouth.
Miss H., if you're out there, please bear in mind that Mr. S. is exceedingly superstitious, and would therefore be an excellent candidate for infection with such new rubbish.