venerdì, ottobre 28, 2005

How do you spell euphemism?

This is an extremely angry time of the month for me, and I've channelled some of that anger into finding better FUCKING euphemisms for menses than 'Auntie Flo's visit', 'on the rag', and the EXECRABLE 'curse'. All this in the new-found belief that giving inevitable but perturbing things funny euphemisms will make them somehow better (examples 'Bitchface Cockbrain's coffee break fund' for 'taxes', 'taking the one-man night bus to Cleveland' for 'erectile dysfunction', and 'kicking the giving-a-fuck-about-cha habit' for 'menopause').

1. Riding the red dragon (My favourite so far and Monsieur F's contribution)
2. Flying the crimson skies
3. Tripping the red fantastic
4. Living the cock-block
5. Commie panties

Seriously though, if I hear someone say 'curse' once more while I'm on it they're getting slapped upside the head. Even if it's Jacques fucking Chirac and a bunch of coked up French rangers jump me for it. Fucking Jacques Chirac.

Fuck.

6 commenti:

Anonimo ha detto...

how about Dirty Girl Time... :)

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

Every time is Dirty Girl Time, anonymous.

Emlyn ha detto...

Weeping of the unwed womb?

Anonimo ha detto...

you're a red stain's mother?

Cali ha detto...

Surfing the crimson wave, like Cher said in that movie Clueless.

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

Surfing the crimson wave. That's nice. That euphemism makes it sound fun. Which is kind of the point. Maybe I was swearing too much in my post to get that idea across.