giovedì, marzo 08, 2007

I'm so clever

Something I don't fully understand about myself is that if I have a massive binge-drink mid-week and don't get sick or hungover, I feel like I've done something really clever. Something else I don't fully understand about myself is how I spent my childhood hating spinach with a burning passion, and now quite enjoy it if it's uncooked, baked, or quickly wilted in a very hot pan.

But all that is secondary to the fact that I saw the Scissor Sisters at Koolhaus last night and it was transcendent. They make me dance. Their music and stage presence is like a gun shooting bullets at my feet while they laugh and taunt me, and I adore them. They brought it - they were good live, musically speaking - and they had a bit of a high energy sexy cabaret going. In fact it reminded me of what it's like to watch male strippers - Jeebus, haven't done that in three or four years now. And that wasn't just because of Jake Shears, that singing, dancing aphrodisiac; it was also Ana Matronic. Despite "Tits on the Radio" being one of my favourite songs off the first CD, I hadn't fully got what she did until I saw her live. Oh, Miss Matronic.

The only bad things were that it was too short, the coat-check retrieval was purgatorial and Toronto audiences are a pack of fat fucking shitbirds. I mean, it's the Scissor Sisters, it's the phoenix rising out of the corporate-torched ashes of 30 years of danceable pop, and most of the people right in front of the stage were standing stubbornly immobile, holding recording devices and being great big wankers. I had such a great time with the people I went to the show with that I started realizing how much I'd miss them. But whenever I feel too homesick, I'll make an effort to remember what twats Toronto audiences are, that wall of Immovable Objects with their inappropriate clapping at the symphony and their falling asleep at the opera.

10 commenti:

Sugarplum ha detto...

I am so jealous! I saw their preformance at the Brit awards on TV and thought it was brilliant. They had all these dancers blacked out from the waist up so that all you could see were these legs dancing. It was really cool to watch.

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

I'd tell you not to be jealous, Sugar, but I'm jealous of the temporal incarnation of myself who spent the hours between 9 and 11:30 at the Koolhaus last night. That spoiled bitch.

Melbine ha detto...

They've gotten so big in the last year, haven't they? Why do people go to concerts if they don't want to respond to the music? And I must say, I've never heard inappropriate clapping at the NAC. But I find that most performers these days try and make it really obvious to the audience when they're finally finished with the sonata or whatever. :) I'm not trying to sound pretentious, I just took a lot of piano lessons so I know these kinds of things.

Dale ha detto...

KoolHaus is such a great place to not be immobile, perfect sight lines and 3 walls full of booze. Come on people! I hate Toronto audiences too, I'd say they're retarded but that's short changing the retards.

Sounds like a great show!

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

Mel, you could never sound pretentious. And you're right, performers always give people visual cues when to clap or not, and then there's the bloody programme, where we can look for the number of movements and count silences accordingly. But that's just not the way audiences here roll.

You're right, Dale. At least retards know how to have a good time. In fact, in my mind there's a beautiful hybrid city called Moronto, where the venues are as uncrammed as Toronto's and the audiences are as awake as Montreal's.

Justin Trudeau, I hope you're reading this . . .

Jiri ha detto...

In Czechland there's a series of books about a town called Kocourkov (Tomcatville ). The inhabitants of this town always do things that people from other places can't grasp - like feeding the Moon in the town well when its reflection is getting thinner and thinner and thus saving it from terrible death by starvation. Would Moronto be something of the sort too?

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

Well, eschewing capitalisim, communism, socialism, anarchism, and most isms altogether, I'd like the city government to run on a firm ideological basis of surrealism. So yes.

Lady ha detto...

operas make me sleepy.
weeee!

Mistress La Spliffe ha detto...

So you, my dear, are sensible enough to not go. These days house music makes me sleepy, so I sympathize.

Dale ha detto...

Moronto? That's comedy gold right there M la S!