Swingers on the brain, as we were wondering if a couple of new friends here are. It got me reminiscing about how stupidly people have approached me about group work in the past. One of my great regrets is that they were all offering absolutely unattractive situations, situations they really should have understood were absolutely unattractive, by which I mean they never involved two gorgeous men who were all about me, me, me, and often didn't involve any gorgeous men at all.
The two hardest ones to put off - not because they were tempting, but because of the men's insistence and my deferential manners - involved my best friends at the time, and as if I want to mess around with my best friends. Gross. One incident made me pretty mad at one of those friends, whose response to the situation - her boyf begging, me repeating negative platitudes I'd never have the patience to produce now when I could just do some slapping and storming out - was minutes of asinine wordless giggling. "My dream has always been to be with two beautiful women at once." Dream on, motherfucker. My dream at the time was to smoke a joint and fall asleep alone, which I believe I did that night. They're divorced now. Hah.
The other, while awkward, was much funnier, because the friend of mine involved also thought it was a stupid idea, and we passed a merry half hour making fun of her pleading hornbag ex-boyfriend. That was much less infuriating, because he was funny. Also because the nature of his begging made it seem like he wasn't so interested in having two women cater to his every whim, but more like he was interested in directing a grand sexual set piece. So less annoying, but still not tempting. Because the thing is, I'm not here for anybody's amusement or edification. I'm a herculean colossus of self-absorption. And the idea of sharing the set with that many people when I'm not the lead/writer/director/producer holds no charm at all.
My experience has been that lots of the men who have the balls to ask for weird sexual combinations don't understand the concept of me being all about me at all, and it makes me wonder if women are generally much more deferential and much less self-obsessed than I am. I was unimpressed when my friend's boyfriend used "it's always been my dream blah blah blah" as an argument that would make me more likely to go for them, but it's not like I hadn't heard it before and didn't hear it again. Do chicks go for that? I'm all for catering to partners and making dreams come true and all - but bringing in a new partner to help those dreams come true? What's wrong with good old fashioned adultery?
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Several non starters for me. Always it was another guy involved. Once, she wanted me totally to get involved- she wasn't attracted to me, but she was a real pioneer girl. I ended up having a smoke @ the kitchen table while I watched them go at it on the stove.
Same girl, years laetr. She was hot for my buddy that nite, and I was hoping to get involved. She pushed me away, and I left them @ it. Got to watch then to.
Tehn there was double dog day. Hey, so IT DID MALKE THE LITE OF DAY. But that's all. Ask Bayrock for further details.
Then there was that one girl.. Over the fone they were both for it, but when I showed up w/ the wine she asked for, they she didn't want to do it.
Then there was another. She wanted me, and was thinking about one just to get to me. She did get to me, but it was just us two.
There's always that pesky mind-changing thing, isn't there? The one single solitary isolated time the stars aligned so that I could nail two attractive men at once, it suddenly occurred to me it was too much work, so I went back to the dancefloor until the blond fell asleep and the brunet looked more manageable.
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