martedì, febbraio 05, 2008

The Red Dragon confesses

So this weekend, or rather last weekend (I don't know where time went, but I want a refund), we watched Brain Dead, and all I can say is that the F-word doesn't get to choose the movies anymore. I spent the next 10 hours wanting to sick up, although that probably says more about alcohol than psychology. He knows I don't like that sort of thing but must have thought I might possibly be into it, since I liked Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness so much, and then was quite fond of American Werewolf in London. Yeah. Well, Brain Dead didn't have Bruce Fucking Campbell cutting off his own hand while yelling "who's laughing now?" or Jenny Agutter's tits and pretty blue eyes in it, and it wasn't funny.

My problem with films where people get chopped into little bits or get their heads ripped off or torn in half or whatever is that that sort of thing happens in real life, so if I'm not being distracted by Bruce Campbell being a comic genius or Jenny Agutter being fucking hot, I'm sitting there thinking about Rwanda or something, and thinking that the director is a big insensitive asshole; generally getting quite indignant. Didn't help that Brain Dead had an aggressively Freudian climax, which I guess was meant to be funny and I just found, you know, Freudian and stupid. Yes, blame Mother for the zombies. Heh. Snorrrrrrrre. And puke.

And then Peter Jackson made the Lord of the Ring trilogy, and here's the confession: I don't fucking like it. It would be an exaggeration to say I hate it, but not much of one, as they make me fall asleep and I'm not the falling-asleep-in-front-of-movies type. The books made me fall asleep too, at least The Hobbit and the first in the series did; don't know about the others, obviously, as I was asleep. But the films were harder to escape because people loved them and I've actually sat through the lot, though I was asleep for a good chunk of that time. Anyways, I still don't get it. Was it the attractive men? The fighting? The questing? The sense of purpose? Clear cut ideas about good and evil and good being a good thing to be? Liv Tyler? Ah, who cares.

2 commenti:

Dale ha detto...

I couldn't make it through the LOTR books but liked the epic good vs evil feel to the movies. Steven Tyler would have made a more interesting elf. The thing I thought about Liv was they've got all this cash to spend on effects and she looks like she hasn't slept in a week. Couldn't they digitize the dark circles away?

The best horror/action with a bit of comedy thrown in I've seen lately is The Host.

Dread Pirate Jessica ha detto...

That's a good point about the circles. Maybe if we'd managed to have waded through the books we would have discovered important plot points, like how elves suffer from insomnia when their dads are the hero from 'Priscilla: Queen of the Desert'.