Why Mlle La Spliffe Should Not Interview Dancers

Finally saw Yours to Break with Gigi - went straight from work, not prettying myself so I wouldn’t go out afterwards. This weekend is about the thesis. The staff at Passe Muraille was very understanding after last week’s incident and had tickets waiting. Praise be, because it was the best thing I’ve seen since I don't know when. Met the mezzo creator (Fidés Krucker) and the male lead (Dan Wild) after the show.

Here's what I recall of the conversation with Dan Wild:

Gigi: Wow, thank you so much. That was one of the best things I’ve seen in a long time.

Spliffe, picking up her things to get dressed and go, realizes Gigi must be talking to Dan Wild as we've already gushed to Fidés Krucker. Fidés Krucker is from the same northern city we are. Country girl makes good – damn good. Her voice is fucking something. The music is mostly pop standards sung operatically, backed by a great little ensemble and it doesn’t jar - there’s no feeling of condescending to the material. Forza mezzo! We's the best. The heartbreak that makes pop songs dreadfully meaningful when you're in a state is dropped on our laps by Fides Krucker and Dan Wild, who both sing (though one just notices him harmonizing with her since she's so great) and perform physically through dance and boxing. Remember this? the whole show says. This was You, bitch. Spliffe turns. Thar he be.

Voice in Spliffe’s Head: Why the fuck did I work late instead of go to the gym and wash my hair? I’m a fucking disgusting mass of unwash and Dax Wax!

Spliffe: Yes, thank you. That was so touching. (It really was. I could understand how someone who’s never been there could have found the dialogue, though not any other element of the performance, stilted. But most of us have been there, and I reckon even a cynical loveless bastard would have been drawn in by the rest.)

Dan Wild: Thanks so much! (continues to speak. Don’t know what he said. Inner voice too loud)

Voice in Spliffe’s Head: We’re standing on the floor. The floor is flat. Please, pull me down and do me on it now!

Spliffe: How many more performances do you have to go?

Dan Wild: Well, it’s running until the 29th . . . (continues to speak . . . but . . . )

Voice in Spliffe’s Head: You look sweeter than Turkish Delight and tastier than Pepper Jack Doritos.

Spliffe: Oh, do you find the performance dynamic changes over time? (struggles clumsily into sweater, dropping purse, Shuffle and probably change. The performance, by contrast, is excellently stage-managed; simple set well used to give the impression of more than one place. A few nicely spaced silver birches, for example, suggest the region Fides Krucker is from without jarring with the other suggested locales)

Dan Wild: Certainly the interaction changes. . . ( . . .)

Voice in Spliffe’s head: Every simile I can think of to describe your ass is surreal and beautiful.

Spliffe: Well, I’m certainly going to tell everybody I know to do their best to see the show. (And you should. $30 dollars, over the phone or online. You won’t regret it – Gigi and I were both near tears. This fucker is why we use a word as extreme as ‘catharsis’ to talk about catharsis. And it has one of the most apt last lines I’ve ever heard - maybe from Helen Humphreys, I'm not sure. Up there with the fucking Usual Suspects)

One more beer, a few huffs of the pipe, and Spliffe and Voice in Spliffe’s Head might have switched places. But my physical inability to interview male dancers aside, this is a fucking good show. Love is a beautiful brute, devastatingly and simultaneously simple and complicated - no surprise there. Our pop media is based on this. We’re spoiled with images and sounds of people’s ideas of it to the degree that I’ll suffer through a week of retarded left-wing documentaries and savour, if nothing else, not being reminded of it - although if anyone wanted to make a REALLY effective anti-marketing documentary, it should explore how our ideals of love are ruthlessly exploited to sell rubbish. And Yours to Break was just . . . well . . . go see it, shithead. It's been getting good and indifferent reviews, if you need some other opinions.