I’ve been wearing the cunning strappy little Campers sandals I bought in Paris three years ago for the past three days as I zipped around the greater Outaouais region. Today they started, for the first time ever, fucking killing. Weird. Maybe it was from the hike in the woods with Mr. H on Friday - how serious Mr. H is! To think I never saw how serious he was! Huh - maybe it was from the scooter ride with Blonde Bitch from the Elysian Hills to Ottawa on those zippy country highways when every ounce of common sense told me I should have been wearing boots - obviously I was fine, but my ridiculously exposed feet were sunburned.
Blonde Bitch is someone I trust nearly completely, I realize. I'd leave a newborn at her doorstep, if such a thing were called for. I don't think I'd have consented to take a scoot like that with most other people but with her it was just mad fun. And then we got to Ottawa for the tail end of Mel's birthday! Happy birthday, Mel! I bet you thought I'd forgotten or was wilfully ignoring your reminders, but I wanted to be a birthday surprise.
So Ottawa was lovely and/or interesting, and so were the Elysian Hills. Outside of missing Mr. H when he moves to Halifax with his woman, I'm really going to miss that place, as you can tell from the euphemism (I don’t know why I bother giving a euphemism to such a tourist destination – I still want it to be a secret!) I like the community, I like the way those people make connections between their lifestyles and the way they feel about the world. And I like boys who are into that because their bodies get lean and brown; when they talk it's not about video games and they try to understand things instead of narrowing their mental categories as fast as normal people tend to do. I, of course, am still a chaste young Penelope, but I was charmed.
So among other realizations, the weekend served to show me I'm kind of sick of Toronto. And also, I suppose, that there are things I'm capable of I wasn't sure I was before - hard to say what I mean. I guess the thing is I'm not scared of people relying on me for certain things anymore. That's allowed. They're allowed. I prefer it that way.